Sometimes I get swept up in crazy ideas and I completely lose the plot. This happens compositionally a lot (rabbit trails, anyone?). But this time I lost some important focus, particularly with what my goals are as a freelance composer.
So today I share with you an entry from this morning's journal entry (written with a quill no less):
I had a little thought this morning with breakfast - I wonder if I'm now trying to be perfect with my freelance life. Because I've done the brave thing (and a few others to boot!) but now it's as if I'm reverting back to my "perfect" habits. As in, if I can pull this off perfectly, I can prove to everyone that quitting my job was worth it and that I made the right call.
But here's the thing - I did make the right call. For where I am right now at this very moment, this is the right call. It doesn't matter if others can see it or not, or if I am doing it perfectly (which I doubt that I am). The only thing that matters is that I am doing it (freelance composing).
And to that effect, I think I want to lay off the on the social media with composition - it's not really me. Twitter posts and lots of facebook posts are not an honest representation of me. Doing that is my trying to fit into a mould of what I think I should be doing.
I'm happy to share the important things, but trying to be a social media person just does not work. I think I'll still do blogs and updates that I truly want to share, but beyond that, I think I'll give it some slack. People who blog for a living do just that - blog for a living. You write music for a living. That's what you should be doing. Well, at least I got there!
So there you have it, my tiny (but valued) viewership. I think I'm going to lay off attempting to do blog posts every week. I know that like one of you will be disappointed, but I promise you that the result will be better! This way I will focus more on music, and when I do post, it will be very me.
And to any of you out there who are also "losing the plot," don't sweat it! The most important thing to do is realize that that is what happened, and to move on from there. That's what I'm going to do!